Weirdos

I'm watching. The more I write, the more words Google has to search on the blog and that means more random searches bring people here. I use Statcounter and can see what people are searching for. I'm endlessly amused by the bizarre and often inexplicable things people are looking to find.

A few examples of Keywords, Search Words or Queries that people have entered to reach my site:

• picture of monkeys in diapers
• milking a rat
• pooping at festivals
• snakes on a roller coaster
• slap the monkey on the butt
• cupcakes guayaquil ecuador (ok this one makes sense)
• monkeys throw poop zoologist
• what was in the box in Indiana Jones 4 (i'm guessing a poop flinging monkey with a cupcake?)
• red sox taco
• kicking a rabbit
• hovercraft tours of the everglades
• Larry Kritcher (Larry....who's looking for you?)
• Florida 2000 ballot boxes thrown away everglades
• cucaracha island florida

Maybe I'm just bored now that the election is over. Maybe I'm just easily amused. Clearly I write too much about poop, monkeys, cupcakes and Larry Kritcher.

October Surprise

Ok - if you thought "October Surprise" was a lead in to another political rant - not to worry - but for my Republican friends out there that might not be able to bear it - I warn you now - there's a picture of me with a giant cupcake AND I'm wearing an Obama shirt. Blasphemy!

My wife clearly thinks I'm dumb. (As do several of the aforementioned Republican friends apparently) She sent me away on my birthday to go hiking with Kenny since she had to "work". And before I left I had to pretend not to notice the 12 lbs of chicken in the fridge. When I returned home she was still at work. A cupcake oven sheet was in the dish rack. There were no cupcakes to be found in the house. I also had to be oblivious to the well wishes of her sweet Aunt Miche who the night before told me to "enjoy all of your birthday surprises". Keeping secrets is not easy except for my cartoon counterpart as evidenced below - Meez was sneaking around inviting anyone within a 100 mile radius to the cupcake party. I'm not a fan of surprises so when I pulled up to Ma-Le's work and I saw 20 cars where there are usually 1 or 2 my suspicions were confirmed. This is where I would find the missing cupcakes. I drove around back. Called Ma-Le and told her someone had rear ended the new car. Then snuck in the back door while everyone was looking out the front. I caught hell for this later and Ma-Le demanded that I should have at least acted surprised. I thought it was funny. So thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, food and the gifts and all of the sweet gestures. Including the following birthday cards from Jack and Josie (of Munky Diper fame)

Thanks to my sweet wife Ma-Le who spent the better part of a month working on the party. Although she brought out the game Twister - apparently in Ecuador they're not aloud to mix genders. So somewhere out there someone has pictures that I might need before I run for President.

And thanks to Sheila for the GIANT CUPCAKE maker. It's fantastic.

Material Boy

I don't want things. I like having as little as possible - just the things I need but I have been programmed to "want presents" on my birthday, Christmas and for some reason Easter. I blame in no particular order my mother, Santa and Jesus.

So I had to fight the urge to want and expect gifts on my birthday like I always seem to do, although I am truly content at my age to simply have people acknowledge that I happened to be born on this day of all of the 365 days (or 366 as it were).

In fact I'm even content to get phone calls that I will not be receiving a gift. On my birthday I got a call asking to speak to Ma-Le - so I explained she wasn't "here" (which was very much the truth since I was in the Everglades). They asked that she call in the next 5 minutes since they did not have the "Teddy Bear and Flowers" she ordered. I told them she was in Ecuador and the voice on the other end said "Oh - then I am canceling this order". and he hung up. A Teddy Bear and flowers were waiting at the door when I returned home. I assume they didn't have the giant candy filled grizzly Teddy Bear holding a batch of bear grass that I've always wanted.

Later that night I went to dinner with my boss, his wife, their daughter Alicia and her friends (none of whom I advertised my birthday to). When I got to the restaurant, there was a pile of presents on the table and they all cheered as I entered. Alicia yelled guess who's birthday it is (and just before I could say mine) she said "it's my birthday" and everyone cheered. And then she said "guess who else's birthday it is?" (and just before I could say mine she said "It's Travis's birthday!" and everyone cheered including some random guy named Travis who was also celebrating his birthday. So I said "Guess who else's birthday it is? Mine!" and the cheering stopped and they all looked at me like I had ruined their fun with my ridiculous proclamation. She said "let me see your ID" and I gave it too her and she screamed and everyone cheered and we all had a drink of something that tasted like liquid cupcakes. Three birthdays - What are the chances?

So the presents were not for me and I'm fine with that - honestly because I had the good fortune of having many birthday wishes - so thanks!

Time to go open a package I just got. I hope it's that 48" rotating cupcake display with chocolate fountain I always wanted.

Without apologies - next post - back to the Everglades

UPDATE - I opened the package - My little sister sent this in the mail with 18 cupcakes (in their containers but yes actual cupcakes. It looked like a rabid possum had gotten into the dumpster at the penny candy store. It's the thought that counts.

Hey Cupcake

Happy Birthday to me! (EVERGLADES-FREE WARNING - the Everglades is mentioned briefly in this post - deal with it.) I've never been one to advertise my birthday but I must admit that I do celebrate it and try to enjoy it like anyone deserves to with a whole lot of "it's my birthday so I'm going to do whatever I want". Of course I've always felt that a mother has every reason to celebrate that day as well considering the work they put in.

If you're keeping track I'm 37. Which is pretty good considering the doctors didn't think I would survive through my first Christmas. I was born with something of a superpower in that I could vomit across the room thanks to a cinched pyloric valve. I survived, as you may have noticed and have enjoyed 36 Christmases/Saturnalias/Hanukkahs since.

Just for fun - here's a look back at a few memorable birthdays (or the ones I have pictures of).

1977 - I'm the bushy-haired one enjoying Dr. Seuss' The Lorax on reel-to-reel. A movie that had an impression on me and yet continues to stress me out. "Unless"? What did it mean? I could have understood "Rosebud" but "Unless" was to abstract for me. Regardless, I speak for the trees as well as the metaphorical Barbaloots and Swamee Swams.

1979 - I hate clowns and yet celebrated my 9th birthday at McDonald's. Now I only go to McDonald's to cure the common cold. It works. Sister Tara is in the back in a Battlestar Galactica shirt. Sister Mandy trying to hog the spotlight and sister Tiffany stylin' in a McDonalds hat which she would trade in a few years later for an employees hat at the same place. As would I for $2.39/hour.

1980 - Continued the fast food themed birthday's by celebrating at Burger King and got a really cool Pac-Man glass and several Star Wars people. Times were good.

1987 - Thinking all day that everyone had forgotten my birthday - I decided birthdays were awful and cruel and I would never celebrate another. Later that night I was surprised to find my girlfriend had organized a cow-themed surprise party. I was relieved but now hate surprises.

1988 - Spent my 18th at Penn State during my freshman year where I took in my first college football game (89,000 people in attendance) and was later talked down off the roof of my dorm by a a resident advisor who thought I was going to jump when in fact I was just throwing pumpkins. Kids don't try this at home. Go to college and try it. I didn't drink then and still rarely do, but I ended up in the hospital that night with a concussion after running down a water soaked hallway, sliding and landing on my head. Kids don't try this. 1997 - Enjoyed this one in sunny Bradenton, Florida with a friendly squirrel who was interested in the box of cookies and cupcakes I had received from home. This may be the start of what others assumed to be my love for squirrels. I don't think people appreciate them enough, but I don't love them. Or at least not like I love cupcakes. Still, my niece has found every type of nick-nack with a squirrel on it to have her mom buy and send. And I love them all.

1998 - The traditional birthday during the mid to late 90's included a trip to the Gould's Orchard pumpkin patch in upstate New York. This was during the "stache" years and was just days before I pulled my snowbird routine and drove back to Florida for the winter.
1999 - Let them eat cupcakes! Who doesn't like cupcakes? My birthday request for 2007 was simply to have all of the nieces and nephews eating cupcakes on my birthday. (I'll post if they send pictures.) But here is Abigail stuffing her face as a baby. Start the bad habits early! (Note to Tara - 2 month old babies are too young for actual cupcakes - try pureeing it.)

2000 - The whole family was together for the big 30 and the one thing I remember above all else is watching the little sister and then boyfriend (and now husband) get into a scuffle, lock into combat like two sumo wrestlers and actually tumble down a hill like two raccoons in an over sized Wal-Mart bag. Good times.

2005 - Niece Estelle shares the same birthday and so in '05 we all trekked out to find a geocache I had hidden under a boardwalk on White Horse Beach in Massachusetts. The cache - called "The Siren of Sea" was buried under the sand during a storm back in the winter of '07.

2006 - My first birthday in another hemisphere. Ma-le and I spent a few days traveling along the coast in Ecuador, stopping in the port city of Salinas and desperately looking for Sangria which was the only thing I had hoped for. But the Ecuadorian presidential elections were on that same day and no alcohol could be served for 3 days prior to or during the election (a punishable offense that could and often does lead to incarceration). The day was redeemed when Pia and Johnny Garcia (Ma-Le's parents) had a Frutilla Cake waiting when we arrived back in Guayaquil. It was delicious. (And aren't they cute?) 2007 - Today I'm heading over to Fort Lauderdale like I do every week and then in the afternoon I'm heading into the Everglades National Park's Shark Valley. I've been just about every where else so this will be my birthday treat. Ma-Le's in Ecuador for a few more weeks so I will have to eat all of the cupcakes and lick the bowl. mmmm.