Peeps!

I've been remiss in posting. Call it Writer's Cramp or whatever. I've just not been inspired. I had a plan to write about the "Red Drift Algae" problem on the beaches, but couldn't figure out how to make it humorous so instead began sifting through resumes, looking for a potential new Everglades guide that I need to hire. (and no, bartender does not make you "uniquely qualified" to drive people out to the swamp....)

And then a comment was posted to the blog. A miracle! I love the comments but this one is one of the best so far.

William said...
Hey, this is Will (the kid who was bit by the bat last year). My mom is about ready to make my sister and I stop subscribing to your blog. It is causing a lot of disruption in our home school study time. For instance, this evening I couldn't resist timing how long it took me to eat an entire package of Peeps. I only had one left, so I got a lot of grief for hogging it all. However I managed to swallow all five Peeps in 1:28:82. I'd like to say the ordeal was worth it - given the bragging rights I have earned - but my belly is paying the price.

I looked for a picture of William to post here but couldn't find one from the VINS vault of photos, this was the best I could do.

I have a great affection for Peeps. My mom would buy whichever holiday themed Peeps were in season, including Flag Day. The strawberry Valentine hearts being my favorite, with the Halloween Ghosts not far behind.

We've eaten pretty much all of the Easter Candy from last week, but there was still a package (3 rows, 5 to a row) of pink Peeps just sitting around, and despite my claims of a post-Easter diet, I've attempted on several occasions to dig into a batch of well hidden candy, only to be thwarted by the Ecuadorian who has only recently developed a sweet tooth to rival my own.

So there the package was. Not being eaten. Taunting me in a way only inanimate, sugar-coated, fluffed marshmallow of an unnatural pink can taunt. I had had a rough day and could no longer resist. MaLe had just walked into the other room. So I grabbed a pair of scissors (completely unnecessary), ripped open a row and shoved two Peeps down the pie hole just as MaLe stepped back into the room, staring in horror.

I can't be sure if the look was in disgust over a delicacy she had yet to try or the desperation in which I piled the pink Peeps into my mouth. Staring her down like a vulture protecting a dead armadillo, I pleaded "Don't take them from me". She didn't. She even tried one. And was repulsed.

I ate the other two and we left for our evening walk.

So that brings me back to William's e-mail which arrived just in time. I don't wish to cause trouble in William's household, nor do I wish to condone the consumption of such useless calories, but I can't help but feel proud that somewhere a boy was inspired to scarf 100 calories of sugar while timing himself, because of my writings! It's exciting and further proof that something might be wrong with me.

And for more proof......

Eat well peeps! And mix in some vegetables William they balance out the candy nicely.

3 Minutes

There are many things that you can safely assume will take a specific amount of time.

• Watching a baseball game - 3 hours
• Checking your personal email during work - 30 minutes
• Watching a sitcom - 21 minutes (with Tivo)
• Having your oil changed - 15 minutes
• Solving a Soduko - 9 minutes (easy version)
• Brushing your teeth - 3 minutes
• Waiting at a typical Florida traffic light - 3 minutes
• Changing a baby's diaper - 3 minutes
• Returning clothes at the GAP? 3 minutes? Come on!

Sunday was Tara, Brian and Peyton's last full day here in Fort Myers and despite the Tornado Watch and the heavy downpours, the plan was still to head to the beach for one last walk in the sand. The storm warnings over, the bad weather past, it was time to head out. But the baby had to sleep.....2 hours later, the baby rested, it was time to head out. But Tara, feeding for two, needed to devour leftover General Tso's. 20 minutes later it was time to head out. But Brian decided he too was now hungry and served up a round of PB&Js. 15 minutes later it was time to head out. As the wind was now blowing the sun down towards tomorrow, Tara decided she needed to return a few things to the GAP before they closed at 5 pm. "It'll take just 3 minutes!" The urgency was understandable. Who knows when and where you'll find another GAP in Florida. And it would only take 3 minutes.....

Has a clothing return ever taken 3 minutes? or 15 for that matter! Thankfully Peyton had received Finding Nemo for her birthday and we could at least watch that again as we waited in the car. We had only seen it 4 times up to that point. I think Tara knew she was in trouble when she stepped out of the vehicle and looked around at the labyrinth-like shopping plaza. It would take at least 3 minutes to find the store, 5 to explain why she was returning the clothes, 5 to explain that she had a crying baby in the car (in truth, a fish-induced hypnotized baby) and another 8 making phone calls apologizing for taking longer than the original 3 minutes. For the record, it takes 28 minutes.

We made it to Sanibel, the top-rated beach in the US for seashells, just before sunset and had the fun of watching a 2 year old exploring the spoils of a storm-tossed seashell strewn beach. Sea Slugs, Pen Clams, Sand Dollars, Scallops and Starfish all lined the edge of the surf. Hard to imagine what a baby must think of it all.
Regardless of the gap of time lost to the opposite of shopping, every minute spent on the beach with the baby was worth the wait. For anyone that couldn't download Peyton's birthday balloon fest last blog, I've fixed the problem so you can see it now. MaLe and I have also added a new version - an homage to childish behavior.