Are You Man Enough? - Attack A Shark Edition

Descartes once said "I drink therefore I fish". It was later in his life and he would have said anything to stay relevant French masses.

For me - I don't drink beer - therefore I don't fish. I don't have the patience to fish nor the inclination/demons to drink. I also don't have to prove my manhood but duping a large-toothy cartilaginous fish into thinking it's going to get a meal and than yanking it out of the water by it's face.

On June 6th and 7th - insecure people will have the opportunity to fish for sharks during the "Are You Man Enough? Shark Challenge" on Fort Myers Beach. Click on the link and you get an idea of the foolishness involved here.

And keep in mind that Fort Myers Beach and Sanibel Beach are the main draw for tourists here in Lee County. Promoting shark fishing off our shores can't be good for tourism, but I'm not so naive to think the sharks are not there. They are. In truth the tournament sends boaters up to Boca Grande where sharks are far more prevalent. Up until the protests (by groups like Shark Safe) started last week, there was no rule against killing the sharks. After public outcry, fisherman will be encouraged to catch and release.

Although I don't fish I'm not anti-sport fishing. I just take exception to the testosterone-fueled marketing campaign that demonizes sharks. I will give them credit for listening to the public and elected officials and I understand marketing is about getting attention but I call into question any one's manhood that feels the need to catch the biggest fish to prove themselves a man.

A few things to consider - there have been 7 confirmed shark attacks in Lee County since 1882!

The global threats humans cause sharks and the diminishing populations of most shark species around the world suggest we should be protecting rather than harming sharks.

For more on Shark Conservation go here - http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/Sharks/sharks.htm

and http://www.neil4sharks.org/sharkconservation.html

For moron Shark fishing go here - http://www.areyoumanenoughsharkchallenge.com/

Why I Hate the Beach: Shark Attack Edition

I tend to avoid any liquid that contains things that could eat me. And just by writing that I realize that I'm not telling the truth. I wade in water with alligators and snakes. I've made coffee from Lee County tap water. But I've always had a tough time at the beach. It's sandy. It's hot. There are fish that can eat me called Sharks. 

A 15-year old boy was bitten yesterday off the beach on Sanibel by what "appeared to be" and I will assume out of lack of desire to do any journalistic legwork - a shark bite. Early lazy journalistic reports by actual journalists suggest that the 3 inch chomp in the kids leg may have been from a shark. 

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Sanibel Island is voted one of the top beaches for shelling in the world and it's not a secret that sharks live all along the coast of Florida. Although attacks are rare, they do happen from time to time and just like the "irrational fear" some have for flying, the rarity and novelty of being bitten by a shark or crashing in a plane, or crashing in a plane and than being eaten by a shark weighs heavily on the minds of the irrational. It just makes sense. 

In 2008 there were 58 shark attacks worldwide. There are an average of 4 fatalities caused by shark attacks a year. This is a drop from 71 in 2007 - let's blame the economy. Fewer people are going to the beach. Fewer delicious humans in the water = fewer attacks. But many sharks give birth near shore during spring and early summer and that raises the danger level slightly.  

Shark attack data through 2007 - http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/sharks/White/USA.htm

All Florida shrak attacks through 2007 - http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/sharks/statistics/GAttack/mapFL.htm

There have been over 11,000 vehicle related fatalities in 2009 in the US as of this writing. Yet we don't freak out as much when we get into the car. Ma-Le insists Ecuador has the safest beaches and they never had shark attacks (4 in 70 years). I thought that was just nationalistic pride but that does seem to be the case. 

Regardless - there are a few safety tips and JunglePete tips to heed when venturing into the briny shallows:

• Swim, dive or surf with other people -- the more people you swim with, the more likely someone else will be bitten.
• Avoid wearing shiny jewelry that might simulate the scales of a prey fish, and also avoid uneven tanning. No shark attack victim wants to be on the news with an uneven tan. 
• Don't swim at dusk or at night. This is when the JAWS theme song plays and that seems to attract sharks. 
• Refrain from excessive splashing. This is very important if you are my niece and should be heeded even in swimming pools and bathtubs. 
• Don't swim near people who are fishing or spear-fishing, chumming or using live bait. The spear ought to be a good deterant. .
• If a shark is sighted in the area, leave the water as calmly and quickly as possible. Tell no one.
• Do not harass a shark if one is spotted. But if you must - turn back to shore and yell "Watch this!"
  

Well - time to head for the beach and if the lightning doesn't hit me and I don't have a car wreck and the package of Easter Peeps I ate for breakfast doesn't stop my heart I might just make it to the sandy shores of the Gulf of Mexico where I will brave the waters and tempt the shark with my deliciousness. I can't wait.