Turn Over a New Bush

First Lady Laura Bush visited the Everglades today during part of an effort to help kids "turn over a new leaf" regarding the environment. Presumably she thinks kids are to blame and need to change their wasteful, destructive ways.

Dozens of local school children aged 9-12 were gathered with the First Lady at the Everglades National Park for the announcement of the 2008 Junior Ranger Program and to learn about native and exotic plants in the area.

"Children will be asked to submit an essay that asks them individually on how they can improve our environment."

One submission suggested to wait 6-9 years, time travel back to 2000 and vote for Al Gore.

Another was to preemptively bulldoze places where exotic plants may be in the future.

One precocious 11 year old laid out a comprehensive 20 year plan to systematically remove all man-made water control devices, eliminate all exotic plant and wildlife species and cut back significantly on agriculture uses on Everglades lands - all of which would be supported by a state/federal budget. But ironically, just hours before, the President had submitted a federal budget that underfunded a similar plan by hundreds of millions rendering the plan essentially useless.

This may be why Laura was out mobilizing the coalition of the pre-pubescent. If biologists, civil engineers, botanists, environmentalists, politicians and land managers can't solve the problem, burden the children.

The winner of the essay contest gets a trip to the Everglades - which they were already gathered in. And more importantly a shopping spree. Most likely at one of the Wal-Marts, Targets, or K-marts that have been built in the Everglades.


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The Tortoise and the Scare: Scream Like a Girl

All animals have some warning system that protects them from harm. Rattlesnakes rattle. Bees Buzz. Dogs growl. Monkeys throw poop. If you're fast you can run away. If you're slow you can curl into a ball and use your specialized hairs to fend off an attacker like a porcupine does. And if you're a turtle you can pull yourself inside your shell and hide right? I went hiking after work in the Estero Aquatic Preserve and was walking while fiddling with my GPS when I heard a HHHSSSSSTTT - so I screamed like a girl. I was alone. I don't need to admit this, but my honesty has been called into question (I did yell at the pig - the macaw did call me a cracker. 99% of what I relay here is the truth) but for the sake of candor I offer all details here now. I screamed like a girl. It surprised me. It surprised the massive Gopher Tortoise who thought better of his simple hiss and hold your ground strategy and he pulled himself inside his shell.

I'd never heard one hiss that loud and that long and the fact that I almost stepped on this huge turtle didn't help. This place is known for a nice population of the endangered turtles. Their preferred habitat of sandy, palmetto/pine flatwoods is perpetually under attack which almost always ends up as a cookie cutter housing development.
They love to dig 5-10 foot deep burrows in the ground where they spend much of their time.


The rest is spent foraging for grasses, berries and the occasional flower or dead animal if it's rotten enough. They can't exactly chase it down and kill it.

Although they are on the Endangered Species List, they will most likely be removed soon along with Wood Storks and Manatee. This is not because their populations are increasing since each is suffering the opposite. Instead, the Bush Administration argues that the Endangered Species Act has not provided each species with sufficient protection and therefore should be downgraded to threatened to which they also argue offers the same protection. Confused? It's like removing a "School Zone" because cars aren't slowing down anyway. Basically developers will not have to concern themselves with hissing turtles and nesting birds and boaters can go back to speeding through the gulf.

So every tortoise I see is exciting and through my and MaLe's adventures we've seen a few.

(Kids - don't do this) This in on the Florida Turnpike. Speed limit 70 MPH. We passed it and I realized it was a tortoise. By the time we slowed and backed up an 18-wheeler had hit it.

This one chose a back road in Punta Gorda and enjoyed a better fate. I stopped and made sure he made it before I let anyone pass.

On my way out of the preserve today - I spooked a Marsh Rabbit who bolted into the palmettos. I didn't scream.

Putting the "Mental" in Environmental

I can't take all of the credit, but my goal in returning to my native state was to help save the Everglades and I did it! As of last week, the United Nations removed the Everglades National Park from the list of Endangered World Heritage sites! How exciting is that? The Everglades and the National Park are no longer endangered! (If this gets boring, there's lots of sarcasm at the end! And a picture of a bunny which usually makes people feel happy!)



"The World Heritage List includes 851 properties forming part of the cultural and natural heritage which the World Heritage Committee considers as having outstanding universal value. These include 660 cultural, 166 natural and 25 mixed properties in 141 States Parties. As of October 2006, 184 States Parties have ratified the World Heritage Convention."

The Everglades National Park was deemed worthy of this list and joined hundreds of other global landmarks in 1979 and was designated "endangered" in 1993 due to urban sprawl, agricultural pollution and rising sea levels. In the spring of 2000, Congress approved a $20 billion dollar, 40 year Comprehensive Everglades Restoration Project (CERP) that would see the feds footing half the bill and the state paying the rest. The state projects and funding was well supported by the governor at the time, but federal money has trickled in over the last 7 years and has come no where near splitting the costs. The world's largest wetland restoration project has suffered for it. Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush (R) was a strong supporter of the project as were most Florida politicians on both sides of the aisle, but sadly the White House neglected commitments and left the project to languish, causing ballooning budgets, stalled projects and increased threats to the 8000 square mile Everglades ecosystem.

As you have read here -

• the Florida Panther is once again close to extinction



• lakes are at record lows



• arsenic-laden mud is being removed by the ton from the bottom of Lake O and placed ???



• severe algae blooms in the gulf, caused by nutrient overloaded runoff from ag areas threaten the sea beds and the coastal communities



• estuarine nurseries still barely cling to life



• and aquifers are not only near empty but are being intruded upon by salt water inflows.

So it was with absolute glee (If you here a siren in your head, then your sarcasm alarm is working) that environmentalists from around the state applauded the UN's decision to drop the Everglades "endangered" status a few weeks ago based on progress with the restoration project and overall lessening of environmental damage.

See - I did it. In 7 months I have helped turn around the greatest destruction of a wetland ecosystem in the world.

I had a little help from the Bush Administration and Deputy Assistant Interior Secretary Todd Willens who recommended to the UN that the "endangered" label was a distraction to sites that were in greater peril. I mean it hasn't rained on the Pyramids in Egypt in months! The Serengeti has more elephants than poachers can shoot and right now there are dozens of people peeing in the streets of the World Heritage site and ancient city of Nessebar and it must be stopped!

Never mind several dozen species of invasive plants that are crowding out the native sawgrass, never mind the urban sprawl that sucks up billions and billions of gallons of water a day to water our invasive plant filled lawns! The "endangered" status is an "embarrassment" to the White House and the best way to eliminate it is to eliminate the word "endangered!"

It's as easy as that. aaaaaaand I'm caaaaalm again.

When told about the upgraded status of the Everglades National Park, Park Superintendent Dan Kimball said "What...WHAT?"

The Park Service and several scientists recommended the Everglades had a long way to go and should remain on the list. And it does have a long way to go. So no applause for my efforts just yet.

ACTION STEP? Provide you suggestions in a form of a comment.

And Happy Birthday Jacob - the big 10.
Keep on Peddlin'

General Ization and the Battle of Red vs Blue States

How long does it take to read this? You can do it in 3 minutes or less! (Kid warning - this may not make sense to some kids)

I'm getting more and more readers, but I had one disgruntled reader unsubscribe because I got "political". I think I may have made some comment suggesting George Bush was not quite qualified for a Nobel Peace Prize. Is he? It was assumed from that comment that I'm a pinko communist radical liberal. I thought I was being funny. I find it interesting that if someone assumes my political views diverge from theirs that they would simply rather not listen to what I have to say. Can't we just get along?

One of the beautiful things about human nature is that we can be similar in many ways while enjoying infinite individuality. We have a billion points of perspective on this planet and I would rather share them than group up based on our commonalities.

This got me thinking about a few other comments I've heard lately.

Someone recently said to me that they knew I was a liberal. Oh? How do you know that without knowing me? "Because you are an environmentalist". To which I replied, "And you being a conservative Republican are therefore anti-environment". To which they became flustered and changed the subject. Shouldn't everyone be pro-environment? Why is that a bad word?

Someone also asked me how I can stand to be in a "Red State" here in Florida, suggesting the political viewpoints of all people living in the sunshine state must, by default be right-leaning because Tim Russert used the red crayon to signify that the majority of voters (52%-47%) voted for George Bush in 2004. The "Blue" voters may have been in the minority, but I choose to think of state colors as shades of purple. We have a Republican governor - Charlie Christ, who has taken a strong stance and an active one at that to protect not only the Everglades, but the environment in general. Everglades restoration has been bi-partisan for the most part.

I'd also like to think that we have not digressed to thinking of our political parties as our teams. A friend said to me the other day that they were Republican. Always have been, always will be. (I've never heard a Democrat say that...) Their parents are Republican and their kids will be too. Millard Fillmore's kids probably said the same thing about the Whig Party. Parties should be dynamic and ever evolving. Issues should be discussed and debated with civility (and the occasional fisticuffs on the House floor) and yet people still people root for their party as if it were a sports team.

I have no political team. Political parties serve to support candidates. Politicians serve the people. Somehow we have turned the whole thing around and the people now serve the parties.

I tried to explain this to someone (and I'm being coy so as not to call out my boss), that I am not a conservative nor a liberal. I'm not a Democrat or a Republican. I don't take a stand based on what a party stands for. I listen to the argument, make my decision and chose a candidate based on who best fits my beliefs. It's far more principled than letting a candidate tell me what to believe. I'd have to say I'm moderate, leading the aforementioned "someone" to call me a flip flopper with no convictions. Not having extreme points of view, be they left or right is seen as a negative. I can't win.

If someone wishes not to read this, that is their prerogative. This is my fun way at looking at my world around me, learning a bit, teaching a bit and hopefully laughing a whole lot more.

I'll climb down off my soapbox and step up to the spotting scope. Tomorrow...Ghost Orchids!

Unlucky #13

I've been gone for a few days as I have been driving the east coast tour out of Fort Lauderdale while our new guide was away.

Since my last post, Florida Panther #9, 10, 11, 12 & 13 were all struck and killed by vehicles in SW Florida. There are now no more than 90. The most ever killed by vehicles in one year was 11 in 2006. With all of the development, I feel there is no hope for them.

The UN just delisted the Everglades as an Endangered World Heritage site, claiming the threat of development does not put the ecosystem at risk any longer. This is the equivalent of giving George Bush the Nobel Peace Prize. There is not a shred of evidence that the Everglades is at any less of a risk than it was when it was listed. Hard to imagine how they came to that conclusion.

I may seem cranky. I have my reasons which I will explain here soon enough. It's hot. Fort Myers set a record on Monday when the thermometer hit 98 degrees. I've never experienced a 100 degree day in Florida. (Oddly I've experienced 4 in Vermont.)

It hasn't rained much either.

By the time this is posted, I will have awoken at 4:45 am and driven across the Everglades to guide on the east coast (on Thursday 6/28). I'll watch for panthers and pray for rain.