Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Turn Over a New Bush

First Lady Laura Bush visited the Everglades today during part of an effort to help kids "turn over a new leaf" regarding the environment. Presumably she thinks kids are to blame and need to change their wasteful, destructive ways.

Dozens of local school children aged 9-12 were gathered with the First Lady at the Everglades National Park for the announcement of the 2008 Junior Ranger Program and to learn about native and exotic plants in the area.

"Children will be asked to submit an essay that asks them individually on how they can improve our environment."

One submission suggested to wait 6-9 years, time travel back to 2000 and vote for Al Gore.

Another was to preemptively bulldoze places where exotic plants may be in the future.

One precocious 11 year old laid out a comprehensive 20 year plan to systematically remove all man-made water control devices, eliminate all exotic plant and wildlife species and cut back significantly on agriculture uses on Everglades lands - all of which would be supported by a state/federal budget. But ironically, just hours before, the President had submitted a federal budget that underfunded a similar plan by hundreds of millions rendering the plan essentially useless.

This may be why Laura was out mobilizing the coalition of the pre-pubescent. If biologists, civil engineers, botanists, environmentalists, politicians and land managers can't solve the problem, burden the children.

The winner of the essay contest gets a trip to the Everglades - which they were already gathered in. And more importantly a shopping spree. Most likely at one of the Wal-Marts, Targets, or K-marts that have been built in the Everglades.

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  1. is a pity that the crocodiles didnt eat her or her husband yet...

  2. That is a cruel comment...

  3. it is but I'm sure the 40,000 dead Iraqi civilians would agree with the comment.

  4. ok ok - the post was not meant to get too political. I guess I opened the can of worms.

  5. to quote whitney houston "i believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way" they can fix it right?
    - fire flower

  6. the emphasis being on "teach them well". I think most people have forgotten that somewhere along the way. What do you do to teach kids? I ask out of curiosty.

  7. brilliant and brilliantly funny. too bad it's also all too true.