Monday, February 18, 2008

How To Kick A Rabbit

Rabbits are fast and hard to kick. They're food for just about everything including alligators, bobcats, panthers, rednecks, snakes, coyotes and goats. Like most prey species they have exceptional range of sight and with eyeballs that protrude from their skull they can see a swift foot coming. They can see on the left and on the right but their vision overlaps for only 30 degrees to the front where they have a minimal amount of depth of field. They also have a 10 degree blind spot and this is the key to kicking one if you can't sneak up from behind. You can also wait outside a den but who knows when they'll creep out. You can always count on a rabbit to dart one way and then dart back the opposite way, but if you don't anticipate correctly, a quick change in direction and an errant punt can lead to a torn ACL.

When you do connect it's important to get the firm spot underneath. Remember - you're not trying to harm the bunny. You're just hoping for good distance.

What to wear? Fabulous colors. Rabbits seem to have only two types of cones in their eyes that allow them to see greens and blues so you can camouflage yourself by wearing spectacular pinks, reds and oranges. This may backfire by drawing fire from locals.

Don't blink because rabbits don't blink often - maybe 10-12 times an hour.

Threats abound for rabbits so they are well adapted to avoid the casual rabbit-kicker. For the well-trained bunny punter, all of these adaptations will be accounted for and one should find great success when patient.

Of course I don't condone such behavior. But it seems to be hardwired into boys brains. Tonight I watched a boy run up to a Muscovey Duck and kick it. His older brother followed and his father laughed. How is that not a punishable offense to wildlife!

While hiking with friends on Sunday I had hoped to see some wildlife and the thought popped into my head. If a rabbit were to run out - I'd kick it. I could have kept the thought to myself, but it came out and the lesson you've read above followed.

I love animals. I don't wish to harm them and I feel bad that I eat some of them, but why do we think this way. As far as I can tell - most women don't have these thoughts. If a deer prances along most women would think "awww" and many men would think "shoot it!". If a toad hops by many women would think it warty and gross and most men would want to lick it.

It could simply be that everyone thinks crazy thoughts and most don't express them. If I didn't there wouldn't be much of a blog.


  1. As a bunny lover and a lizard licker, I'm confused: am I a boy or girl??

  2. I don't think kissing frogs is si terrible. You're in the clear and clearly a girl.

  3. Me thinks this requires a follow up on just how high an armadillo will jump when properly spooked. My record, 28 inch vertical. And no, I didn't contract leprosy by poking said critter.

  4. hmm...the armadillo I spooked was in my grasp so no vertical measurement. Did your armadillo snort like a pig?

  5. JP.. You Aint Right My Friend.. Just Remind me to Put Evil Up when you come over to the Compound..


  6. hmm....what the heck does that mean....

  7. WHY WHY WHY!!! didn't someone TELL me to keep my crazy thoughts to myself all my life! I could really BE somebody by now!