Backup

My Computer crashed. (Did I capitalize computer or did it? That concerns me) I'm now in the process of doing what I do every time I panic and worry about losing everything stored in this mysterious little box - I backup.

I'm basically copying files to an 80 GB backup hardrive and I'm currently watching it scan through 37 years of photos. It's freaking me out. The files are flying by and the computer is counting down. "214 minutes remaining". A file from a trip out to Montana just zipped by. That was almost 7 years ago? The Grand Canyon from 2002. The computer shuffles through several dozen files from the Vermont Butterfly Survey in Manchester with Kent in 2003 and the numbered files topple like dominoes. Here comes 2004 and the 2 trips to see Ma-Le in Ecuador. 1200 photos and they rocket past so fast. 2005 - new pictures of baby Peyton, my sister Mandy's wedding, Ash & Kate's wedding, Christmas with the family at Disney and the last picture of my mother - the moment is gone. "42 minutes remaining". The blur and pain of 2006 tears by with digitized moments that seem too quickly forgotten. I did that? Lost in a fog of coping. "19 minutes remaining". I'm watching the last of the photos and my mind hears the sound of driving on the rumble strip that separates the highway from the side of the road. DSCN3384, DSCN3385, DSCN3386 - no time to change the file name. The moment is here and gone. "2 minutes remaining". Does my computer know something I don't?

When I was a kid days seemed endless - now they go by too quickly. I've been back in Florida for a year now. It's been a great year for the most part but I can't help feeling like I'm driving downhill in a fog sometimes. Gotta keep going forward. Have to enjoy every bit of every day that I can. I never know when the ground is going to drop out under me. I can look back - I just can't backup. "finished"