Sunday, August 5, 2007

Monkey Diapers

When diapering a monkey, the most important thing is to cut a hole for the tail. Clean the dirty monkey butt, feed the tail through the new diaper hole and slide the diaper up the tail to the monkey's bottom. The rest is just like diapering a baby. And I would know. I diapered a baby once (and two monkeys and one ape for that matter.)

Anyone that knows me knows that my parents ran the Florida Monkey Sanctuary from 1968-1988 in Venice, Florida where this diapering lesson came in handy. One of the most often asked questions then was "where do you get monkey diapers"? You don't. You make them using preemie diapers. And for apes who have no tails, plain old diapers work fine.

I had dinner tonight with my friend Frank and his wife Paula and had the chance to meet their kids Jack and Josie for the first time. Explaining the above diapering lesson to a 4 and 5 year old was a silly experience. (Diaper apparently is a hysterical word). I'm always amazed that kids believe the monkey stories. Sometimes I have a hard time. But with kids, anything is possible and if I could lift these kids up by their ears ( of them might have a loose ear now, sorry), surely having hundreds of monkeys, some diapered, could be possible. I'll post the pictures to prove that diapered monkeys were part of my childhood upbringing. They even watched cartoons.

This monkey is wearing a diaper - I promise. So is my sister Tara who is pushing the monkey.

I know this one is diapered - no one would let a monkey in a doll house without a diaper.

um....ok no diaper. Hundreds of monkey pictures and I can't seem to find one of a clearly diaperde monkey.

I give up. So here's a picture of me in a diaper.

I found one!


  1. and the UPS man never questioned the large quantitie of Pampers that mom ordered!

    As for kids, mine was thrilled with Eragon and wants to find a dragon egg someday. I told her anything is possible.

  2. Thank you for the flashback-I just remembered walking hand and hand with you around the sanctuary. Of course then the jealous (not diapered) monkey grabbed my hair, and almost killed me. Thanks for the memories!!!!!

  3. I couldn't comment using Firefox but I finally got smart and launched safari instead, which seemed more appropriate anyway.

  4. hmm...I wonder how many other people are in a "diaper comment frenzy" and can't post comments because of firefox? Internets and iBrowsers are hard to understand.

  5. I just wonder...what happened to all that hair!!!

  6. With miracle grow my bald spot is now gone. Of course, I think the monkey's hand was stuck in my hair because of all of the hairspray that I used. It was the 80's.

  7. Is that why you have Bahama Crab Grass on the top of your head?

    I'll write soon enough about the hole in the ozone over Anarctica caused by you, my sister and all of the metal bands that used AquaNet in the 80's.

    ACTION STEP: Don't pull a monkey's tail